Royal Rumble Results

Match #1- Big Boss Man defeated the Road Dogg
    What kind of travesty was this? Big Boss Man is not
    as hardcore as the HARDCORE CHAMPION OF THE
    WORLD!!!!! The Road Dogg Jesse James! The Bad Ass
    Billy Gunn! The-New-Age-Outlaws! Can someone please
    tell me what Road Dogg 4:20 means.

Match#2- Ken Shamrock defeated Bad Ass Billy Gunn
    Ditto the above. Come on he's Bad Ass. The Bad Ass
    will get back the tag titles. He's Bad Ass, he has to. Just
    because he's Bad Ass. I feel so cool because I can
    say Bad Ass.

Match #3- X-Pac defeated Gangrel with that X-Men move
    I was so afraid that vampire guy was gonna bite Syxx
    in the neck but X-Pac pulled off the win with his X-Force
    move. I went nuts when he got the 1-2-3.

Match #4- Sable defeated Luna
    Sable deserved it. She's got much bigger breasts.

Match #5- The Rock defeated Mankind
    I can't believe this happened. That was really Mankind's
    kid that said "I quit." He will show up on Raw as a member
    of the corporation. Wrestlemania will feature Mankind's kid
    and Shane McMahon vs. Mankind and David Flair

Match #6- Vince McMahon wins the Royal Rumble
    No fair! The Rock had no business being out there! I never
    saw Mabel get eliminated either. Mabel should finish the match
    tomorrow by throwing McMahon out during his usual opening
    monologue. Then we will see Mabel vs. The Rock at Wrestlemania.
    There could be a second black man to hold the WWF World Title!
 

 "Super" Mark Zyndahaus